I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
