I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
