I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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