Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
