I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
