I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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