You made me cry and you don't even care
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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