Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You work out of a Hotel?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
as a side note pls kill me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
