wake up i wanna do it froggy style
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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