Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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