Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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