so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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