spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
