This is not my ceiling
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
