why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
