Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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