I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
