you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
