I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
