i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
