Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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