No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
