Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
