I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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