i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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