I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
