It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
