ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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