I accidentally burped into my bong.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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