Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
