something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
