You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
