Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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