he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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