You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
