Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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