Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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