I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
