Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
