Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize