So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
