East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
