i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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