did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have aggressive nipples.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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