honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
