Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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