Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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