Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
