I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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