Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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