Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
