Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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