five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
