Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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