At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize