she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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