And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
