he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
ugly people sure do ruin things
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Alive.
So much puke
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
