Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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