Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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