We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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