I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm like, not good at living.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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