Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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