So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
